WESTWOOD — Campus is at a complete standstill as news travels of the newest student-curated petition accomplishing nothing. “When will these dumb fuckin’ kids learn?” says Chancellor Gene Block, who did something new with his hair, and the Enabler thinks it’s really nice. “Why do they think that a measly 18,000 votes will make me do something?” At press time, Gene Block was seen setting fire to a big pile of money and watching it burn.
