Epstein Victims Get Day In Court, Free Starbucks Gift Cards

NEW YORK — Nearly three weeks after alleged sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide, his many accusers were granted the chance to share their stories in court, along with a $30 gift card redeemable at any Starbucks location. “It was wonderful, as far as they were concerned, to have this opportunity to be heard,” said attorney Gloria Allred of her clients, two of the hundreds of women who claim their lives were ruined after being purportedly molested by Epstein at a young age. “It is even more wonderful to know that these women will have the opportunity to enjoy their choice of tasty Starbucks beverages, free of charge.” At press time, the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York released a statement promising to continue the investigation into Epstein’s circles and reminding the victims that the gift cards do not apply to Frappuccino blended drinks, nor can they be exchanged for cash value.

About Jay Varhula 12 Articles
The latest in a long line of miners, Jay stumbled upon the Westwood Enabler after accidentally mining through the floor into one of their meetings. In exchange for several precious stones, the Enabler agreed to hire him as a writer. Jay's hobbies include: mining for rare stones and metals, singing chanties about the miner's life, and pet photography.