UN Classifies One Floor Elevator Rides As War Crime
WESTWOOD — This afternoon, the UN passed a resolution to reclassify one-floor elevator trips from a low-level faux pas to a fully fledged war crime. […]
This Day in History
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coalition of lo-fi artists ban capital letters
a basement — this tuesday, a board of music producers in charge of overseeing the lo-fi artistic community released a memo to their constituency banning […]
Sepi’s Files Counterproposal To Evict Steve Sann
WESTWOOD — Following efforts by the Westwood Community Council to pressure Sepi’s into leaving Westwood, the local bar and restaurant filed a counterproposal to evict […]
YRL Mountain Lion Diverts Attention From Powell Cat
WESTWOOD — After a mountain lion was noticed taking residence in the bushes adjacent to Young Research Library (YRL), many students have taken to the […]
Op-Ed: If I Wear Jeans, You Must Call Me Jeans Block
To the Campus Community: On Monday morning, I substituted my normal chancellorial slacks for a pair of comfortable, stylish, denim jeans. Yet for the entire […]
Classics Department Discovers Name of Victory Goddess “Nike” Just Short For “Nichael”
WESTWOOD — Following the discovery of a hidden vault in Athens, scholars of the renowned UCLA Department of Classics made a breakthrough concerning the “Winged […]
The W.E. Guide To History: Black Friday
LOS ANGELES — As seems to be the case with most if not all of our cherished American traditions, Black Friday has a much “darker” […]
The History of April Fools Day
As the jesting and jokery of April Fool’s Day once again commences, we here at the Westwood Enabler would like to put comedy aside for […]