Duffl Employment Qualifications Include Not Fearing God

WESTWOOD — In response to persistent questions about their hiring practices, Duffl has made public their employment qualifications, which include not fearing God. “Our ideal candidate truly doesn’t give a fuck if they live or die, and frankly, neither do I,” said David Lin, founder and CEO, who would like you to use Duffl code #GODISDEAD for 20% off your first order. “We want someone with a can-do personality, who’s a self-starter, with a complete disregard for the big man upstairs. Every Duffl delivery person has looked God right in the face and, frankly, wasn’t impressed.” At press time, a Duffl employee was spotted gliding through a red light and crossing four lanes of moving traffic without a care in the world.

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