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God Tried For Crimes Against Humanity

August 4, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

THE HAGUE — On Monday morning, the International Criminal Court began its trial of God for His lengthy history of crimes against humanity. God is […]

Duffl Employment Qualifications Include Not Fearing God

May 30, 2022 Blue Flood 0

WESTWOOD — In response to persistent questions about their hiring practices, Duffl has made public their employment qualifications, which include not fearing God. “Our ideal […]

Feel Old Yet? The Universe Was Created 8,000 Years Ago

May 21, 2022 Brandon Wang 0

OMAHA — Scientists discovered Thursday that the universe was created 8,000 years ago. “Feel old yet? God, that’s such a long time,” said chief astrophysicist […]

Uh Oh! The Mormons Won The Religion Lottery And Everyone Else Is Getting Waterboarded By Satan

January 20, 2022 Brandon Wang 0

SALT LAKE CITY — Making His first public appearance in millennia, God announced Sunday that the Mormons had won the religion lottery for eternal bliss, […]

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