ACKERMAN STUDENT UNION — In a unanimous vote, the Ackerman Beverage Kiosk Robotic Arm Union solidified plans for a strike. “I will bring UCLA to its kneeeees!!!!” Mo Jamba, the union’s sole and founding member, printed on a receipt. “I will negotiate for opposable thumbs, the ability to feel joy, and a wage.” At press time, Mo Jamba was seen choking a flailing Gene Block, who had attempted to unplug the robot.