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Biden Administration Demands Ceasefire In Gaza: “But It’s Chill If Not No Worries”

March 13, 2024 Georgia McNeill 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an announcement from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that the attack on Rafah would proceed despite international pressure, the Biden administration […]

Person wearing jansport backpack

What Your Backpack Says About You, Including When And Where You Enjoy Your Last Breath

March 6, 2024 Jaden Weinstein 0

A student’s choice of backpack arguably decides the path they take for the rest of their miserable life. What you pick to stow your laptop […]

Student Caught Taking Banana Out Of BPlate Fatally Shot

February 28, 2024 Anonymous 0

WESTWOOD — Following changes in UCLA dining policy, second-year physiological science major Hannah Dunham was fatally shot Tuesday after being caught smuggling a banana out […]

Poor pledge...

Pledge Comes Clean: ‘Hazing Made Me A Better Person’

February 20, 2024 Sidney Muntean 0

WESTWOOD — While some may join a fraternity for camaraderie, school spirit, or alcohol, first-year Business Economics major Chad Sookmidic has disclosed that hazing is […]

Boelter Scientists Announce Creation Of Slowest Elevator Possible

February 19, 2024 Georgia McNeill 0

WESTWOOD — During a press conference late Thursday evening, a team of scientists from Boelter Hall announced that they had created the slowest elevator possible. […]

condoms tacked to corkboard in the shape of a heart

RA Tacks Condoms To Lounge Wall To Promote Safer Sex

February 14, 2024 Marina Zeng 0

WESTWOOD — In preparation for Valentines’ Day, fourth-year RA and president of UCLA Sexperts Abby Stinence has used thumbtacks to pin condoms to the wall […]

Gene block in fisherman's garb on a small wooden boat

Gene Block Gathering Two Of Each Major For Ark

February 5, 2024 Maya Chatrathi 0

WESTWOOD — Following the historic rains and flood warnings in Los Angeles, it was reported late Sunday night that UCLA chancellor Gene Block has begun […]

Vegan’s ‘Ethical Diet’ Sourced Exclusively Through Child Labor

January 31, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — Local vegan Polly Mitchell shared her advice Tuesday on how to live a more ethical lifestyle through her sustainable snacks produced by children […]

Trader Joe’s Reveals Most Sales Come From That One Tote Bag

January 24, 2024 Tal Israeli 0

TRADER JOE’S HEADQUARTERS — Trader Joe’s executives have revealed that most of their sales for the year of our lord 2023 have come from their […]

REPORT: The People In Line At Kerckhoff Definitely Want To Hear About Your Sex Life

January 17, 2024 Ysabella Yuquimpo 0

WESTWOOD — A survey conducted by the Daily Bruin concluded that the patrons of the historic Kerckhoff Coffee House definitely want to learn all the […]

Posts pagination

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  • Trump Gives 15-Year-Old Girl Apology Smooch

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who he calls “the greatest pedophile of all time,” President Donald J. Trump […]

  • Democrats Advance Key Policy Goal of Strengthening Republican Party

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]

  • Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache

    dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]

  • Opinion: Rejecting Donald Trump From Art School Was A Bad Idea

    Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]

  • Opinion: Halloweekend Was For Hot Girls But Veteransdaynight Is For Us Mediocre Bitches

    UCLA is full of beautiful, talented, funny, smart, and well-rounded women. I am not one of them. And that’s okay! I can clean the hell […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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