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money

Trend Watch: Withdrawing All Your Money From The Bank

April 9, 2025 Paige Reed 0

WESTWOOD — In light of the recent economic chaos brought about by the Trump administration’s sweeping tariffs, many on social media have taken to a […]

State Government Grants $5 Kohl’s Cash Stimulus To Fire Victims

January 14, 2025 Dana Badii 0

WASHINGTON D.C.  — Today, President Biden promised that all victims of the ongoing Southern California fires can expect to receive $5 Kohl’s Cash in their […]

Opinion: I’m 🅿️aying 5 GRANDS to the first 7 ppl to Mesage me right now “moneY” 📈💸💪💯❤️

May 1, 2023 Dylan Wood 0

Seven Neat Ways To Actually MAKE Money This Holiday Season

December 10, 2019 Ben Robinow 0

Yes, it’s that time of year again! A time of joy and cheer, a time of love and family, and above all, a time of […]

Money Can’t Buy Happiness, Reports Man in Upper Middle Class

October 9, 2019 Max Flora 0

PALO ALTO — Jason Duane, a man lucky enough to be born into a financially secure family, recently reported that having money is not, in […]

Report: You’ve Read All Your Free Articles For This Month

May 6, 2019 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — Citing the paywall triggered after reading three articles in a given month, The Westwood Enabler reported that you have exhausted all of your […]

  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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