Federal Court Blocks UCLA-Berkeley Meme Group Merger
WESTWOOD—A federal judge blocked a proposed merger of University of California Facebook meme groups “UCLA Memes For Sick AF Tweens” and “UC Berkeley Memes For […]
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Op-Ed: I Went to the Career Fair and All I Got Was This Sunburn
Ah, the career fair. Such fun! Such wonder! Like many other students, I woke up early, got dressed up in a business casual sleeveless […]
Op-Ed: You Can Fire Me, But You Can’t Stop Me From Sexually Harassing Women
Well, you’ve all heard the news by now. Laugh it up, liberals. You may have gotten me off the air and out of the public’s […]
Mother Of All Bombs Leaves Behind Husband And Six Thousand Child Bombs
ARLINGTON, VA – In the wake of her massive detonation and international fame, the mother of all bombs leaves behind the father of all bombs, […]
11 Reasons Why Last Quarter’s GPA Was Not Your Fault
Hey Bruins! Still mourning last quarter’s GPA? No worries, we here at WE have 11 reasons why your GPA is totally not your fault: Free […]
Oblivious Dance Marathon Participant Still Going Strong
WESTWOOD— Unaware that Dance Marathon ended four days ago, third-year communications student Tyler Durham is still up and on his feet dancing in Pauly Pavilion […]
Op-Ed: Thanks for the Fat Neck, Mom
Dear Mom, Thanks, I guess. Thanks for the fat neck. I really appreciate that out of all the things I could have inherited from you […]
UCLA School of Public Health Recommends Washing Your Damn Hands, Alex
WESTWOOD—Last week, faculty from UCLA’s College of Public Health recommended that after using the restroom Alex should wash his damn hands. “Handwashing is an easy […]
Report: Feminists Develop Less Phallic Toothbrush
WESTWOOD—Feminist entrepreneurial group, For Her Inc., announced the development of a new, less phallic toothbrush for women to be rolled out in the fall quarter […]
Nation Yearning For Simpler Nixon Scandals
WASHINGTON–In the wake of revelations that United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions lied under oath during his Senate confirmation hearing regarding his 2016 meetings with […]