Opinion: Being Uncircumcised Is Bohemian
When I received my acceptance letter from UCLA, I was ecstatic to move to Los Angeles, the land of fruits and nuts. Unfortunately, I have […]
Opinion
Opinion: God, If You’re Real, Bring Powell Cat Back
Hey God, it’s me. I know we don’t talk much. Honestly, after I asked you to give me the strength to eat ten hot dogs […]
I Lived It: Someone Asked To Share My Table At Kerckhoff
The first thing that struck me, looking up at her, was that she had a kind face. What struck me next was her nerve. “Hi, […]
Opinion: The Enabler Fired Me But I Can Still Log Into The Website
They thought they’d gotten rid of me. They told me I wasn’t funny enough for this publication and to go write for the Daily Bruin. […]
Trend Watch: Divorce!
After a glorious 20-year run, US divorce rates are back down to historic lows. Come on, people! What are we doing? The United States is […]
Opinion: I’ve Been Wandering Around Epicuria For 10 Weeks With No Empty Tables In Sight
How many days has it been? 3? 7? 70? I’ve been pacing around the ravioli, tiramisu, and ricotta. Back and forth, back and forth, back […]
Complaining About the Rain? Don’t Worry, Climate Change Will Get Rid Of It
WESTWOOD — You’ve been complaining for two months now about the rain we’ve gotten this winter. You’re telling everyone that you’re sick and tired of […]
Opinion: How I Get So Much Volume In My Hair I Can’t Hear My Roommate Face-Timing Her Boyfriend
Step 1: I take a shower. This gives me an excuse to avoid hearing my roommate cycle through pet names for her five foot eight […]
Opinion: “Samueli?” More Like “Smelly.” You Stink!
WESTWOOD — UCLA is known for its beautiful architecture and iconic buildings. Even with a melancholy Mathematic Sciences Building, UCLA can keep its top spot […]
Club Holds General Meeting At Most Inconvenient Time And Place Possible
BROAD ART CENTER— Members of the Baily Druin were upset to find out that their general meeting this quarter would be held at the furthest […]