Area Man Delays Job Search To Start Up Sad Little Webseries
LOS ANGELES–Twenty-three year old Sam Hunts announced via Facebook post Saturday afternoon that he plans to start up a pathetic web series. “Hey everyone, I […]
National
Disney Acquires Rights To Nation’s History
BURBANK, CA—In an unprecedented and game changing move, The Walt Disney Company purchased the rights to the entire history of the United States from the […]
Rising Actress Cast In Strong, Bland, Cookiecutter Role
LOS ANGELES—Hot off the success of her debut film, actress Alina Benning, 21, announced her upcoming role as the strong, bland, derivative leader of a […]
Local Fish Concerned Reef Becoming Too Gentrified
THE PACIFIC OCEAN — Having slowly watched its reef whiten over the course of several years, on Thursday a local fish expressed concerns that the […]
Flint, Michigan Offers To Alleviate California Drought
FLINT, MI—Noting that there’s “plenty to go around,” Mayor Dayne Walling of Flint, Michigan announced in a press conference Jan. 19 that the city was […]
Donald Trump Calls For Santa’s Workshop To Be Relocated To US
NEW YORK CITY — At a press conference in the Trump Tower this past Thursday, Donald Trump demanded that Santa Claus relocate his workshop to […]
Louisiana Denies Governor Jindal Refuge From GOP Primary
BATON ROUGE, LA — Following his displacement from the GOP primary due to instability within the party, Governor Bobby Jindal was denied refuge by his […]
President Obama Gives Congress Two-Star Yelp Review
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Citing Congress’s inability to pass bipartisan legislation, President Barack Obama wrote an unfavorable review of the governing body on Yelp Saturday, giving […]
Ben Carson First Neurosurgeon To Successfully Remove Own Brain
WASHINGTON, DC — In an effort to boost his support among voters this past Thursday, former neurosurgeon and Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson […]
House Loses Boehner, Usually Doesn’t Happen
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amidst much prolonged stress, the House of Representatives publicly lost its Boehner on Oct. 29. “This usually doesn’t happen, we promise. It’s rare to […]