Kid In Suit Jacket Goes Entire Lecture Without Volunteering His Opinion
WESTWOOD — Early Tuesday morning, suit jacket-clad business economics-major Greg Whitfield went a full two hours in his psychology class without stating his beliefs on […]
Campus
SAE’s Christmas Lights Almost Impressive Enough to Make You Forget About Those Sexual Assault Allegations
WESTWOOD – In a dazzling display of holiday cheer, UCLA’s chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) recently put up a Christmas decor ensemble that almost made […]
UCLA Student Not Photographer But Does Have iPhone With Portrait Mode
WESTWOOD — Recent reports from the “UCLA Free & For Sale” Facebook page have indicated that third-year student Liz Samuels did not consider herself a photographer […]
Self-Proclaimed “Cool” Professor Overheats in Leather Jacket
WESTWOOD — Earlier this week, adjunct History professor Dennis Falsk fainted during an intense lecture on early Mesopotamian farming practices after refusing to take off […]
MISSING: Friend Who Said “We Should Hangout Sometime.”
WESTWOOD — Concerned acquaintances have filed a missing persons report for Allison Nguyen, who was last seen in passing in the dining halls after some […]
UCLA Breaks Ground on Ben Shapiro School of Owning the Libs
WESTWOOD — Reflecting UCLA’s commitment to recognizing the achievements of its distinguished alumni as well as its desire to offer an education that encompasses a […]
UCLA Bans Bruin Walk Flyerers in Effort to Eliminate Waste by 2020
WESTWOOD — As part of UCLA’s green initiative to eliminate all waste by 2020, UCLA Chancellor Gene Block announced that flyers and subsequent flyer-ers on […]
UCLA Radio Rejections Spur Return Of Doc Martens
WESTWOOD — Following UCLA Radio’s record low admission rate into their intern program three weeks ago, the Doc Martens company experienced a record high surge in […]
Roommate Files Petition To Open Window A Tiny Bit
WESTWOOD — Entreating Bruin Walk commuters with the pleading look of something dying in the road, Dykstra roommate Ron Timmons this morning began his petition […]
Computer Science Student Downloads Consciousness Into Computer To Master Curriculum
WESTWOOD — In fear of falling behind his peers, third year computer science student Edward Lu effectively turned himself into a computer yesterday before his midterm […]