Op-Ed: How ‘Bout Some Uncomfortable Small Talk As We Walk To Class?
Well, look at this. We happened to run into each other as we’re both walking to class! You know, the one that I teach and […]
Articles by Your Professor
Op-Ed: I Am the Alpha and the Omega, I Am the Eternal by Adam Sandler
I’ve heard all the complaints a million times: “God, when will Adam Sandler stop making movies?,” “I just wish Sandler would go away. He’s not […]
Op-Ed: Liberals, Stop Calling Your Fake News “Satire”
With all the fake news circulating social media the past few months, some would say the blurred lines of fact and fiction have felt like […]
Area Man Unsure If New Friend Republican
LOS ANGELES—Area man and local Democrat Charlie Cohen realized early Thursday that he was unsure if his new friend, Derek Wallace, was a Republican. “Some […]
UCLA Sanitation to Powell Bathroom Patrons: “Just Go Hog Wild”
WESTWOOD — UCLA Sanitation told the patrons of the Powell Library restroom to “just go hog wild” in a letter posted Monday morning. “Our facilities […]
Rieber Smell To Destabilize Region By 2020
WESTWOOD—The UCLA Political Science department released a report Wednesday indicating that unless drastic actions were taken, the smell emanating from between the Rieber and Holly […]
Sasha Obama To Stand On Sister’s Shoulders, Run For President
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Sasha Obama announced in a statement Tuesday that she plans to run for President of the United States while perched on the shoulders of […]
Report: All Late Night Curly Fries Traced Back To Single “Mother Fry”
WESTWOOD—In a report issued by the UCLA Center for Sustenance Research, scientists have confirmed that all curly fries from De Neve Late Night are traceable […]
Roommate Has Friend Over For Some Reason
WESTWOOD—Second-year physics student Trevor Barnes arrived at his dorm late Tuesday evening to discover that his roommate, Tom Bornstein, had a friend over for some […]
Area Man Delays Job Search To Start Up Sad Little Webseries
LOS ANGELES–Twenty-three year old Sam Hunts announced via Facebook post Saturday afternoon that he plans to start up a pathetic web series. “Hey everyone, I […]