Area Man Unsure If New Friend Republican

He can’t be, right? Right?

LOS ANGELES—Area man and local Democrat Charlie Cohen realized early Thursday that he was unsure if his new friend, Derek Wallace, was a Republican. “Some of the things he said about limiting government seemed suspect, but then he turned around and said he’s pro-choice, so I’m really not sure,” Cohen said. “He told me he was supportive of gay marriage, which I thought was reassuring until he told me he thought it was more of a states’ rights issue.” At press time, Cohen was nervously Googling “libertarian” to see if his new friend fell into that ideology and was not seriously a Republican.

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