Rowing Team Wins Diversity Award, As Many As Two Minorities Represented

ORANGE COUNTY, CA — A local rowing club took home the top prize in USRowing’s diversity awards this week in recognition of their melting pot of participants, representing several kinds of white Christians and as many as two minorities. “On our team of fifty, we’ve got a surprisingly tall Asian girl AND a white-passing Latina,” bragged Coach Mark Thompson, hastily scraping the name “Master Race” off of a carbon-fiber racing shell. “We weren’t sure if the rowing world was ready for such an explosion of diversity, but so far everyone we’ve met has been surprised and impressed. We’ve been so successful in creating a culture of inclusion because we really go the extra mile, whether it’s catering Chipotle or Panda Express to make our more diverse members feel at home, or not pressuring them to dye their hair blonde anymore.” At press time, Thompson was hoping to really push the boundaries by adding in a third minority or even a member of the lower middle class.

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About Gabby Bromberg 15 Articles
After watching Rachel Brosnahan pretending to be a Jewish comedian in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Gabby thought someone should do that for real.