SAN DIEGO, CA — After thinking about it some more, incoming freshman Kayla Marker has begun to cast some doubt on her roommate selection choice following several warning signs. “She posted a flat-earth conspiracy theory link on Facebook, but I can’t tell if that was ironic” explained Marker, scrolling through her future roommate’s feed. The incoming freshman revealed that she had met her future roommate online in a roommate search forum titled “UCLA CLASS OF 2022 GIRLS,” and the two initially bonded over similar niche interests like “hiking” and “traveling.” “When she told me she also liked ‘hanging out with friends’ as a hobby, I even thought we were basically the same person! But things are starting to get weird, like, just yesterday she messaged me asking whether or not I was planning on bringing industrial buckets for the room but won’t tell me why.” With three weeks until move-in, Marker is hoping the background check she requested will arrive in time.
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Interim Editor-In-Chief, Full Time Smart-Ass