Punk’s Not Dead! Your 13-Year-Old Cousin Just Called You A Bitch

BEL-AIR — Your 13-year old cousin proved definitively that the spirit of punk is alive and well in the younger generation last Friday, when she called you a bitch. “So you can’t take me to Hot Topic today? God, you’re so fucking annoying,” said your cousin Madison, whose favorite punk song is “High Hopes” by Panic! At The Disco. “You’re just like my mom, you guys never let me do what I fucking want. She didn’t even let me mosh at the Machine Gun Kelly concert.” At press time, your cousin was applying a temporary tattoo of the anarchy symbol that they had bought on Amazon.

About Maya Chatrathi 27 Articles
Having only recently gained sentience, Maya Chatrathi is working twice as hard to get up to speed. Please be patient with her through this adjustment period.