SANTA BARBARA — Prince Harry held a press conference outside of his estate this morning to clarify his remarks in his new memoir, “Spare.” “I had a bit of an oopsie poopsie – I was distracted by my terribly poor finances and accidentally sent my dream diary to the publisher while distressed,” said the royal as he shoved his crown jewels out of sight in one of his ten bedrooms. “Forget the rubbish in it about wanting to get rid of the monarchy. Do you know how much I make in royalties off of bobbleheads? But it’s true that Meghan and I had to get all our furniture from the local IKEA. The Blåhaj shark stuffie really ties the room together!” At press time, Prince Harry was hiding from the press while cuddling the Blåhaj.