I Don’t Need To Celebrate Valentine’s Day To Be Happy
By: Peter Tan
When I was in a relationship not too long ago, I had a tendency to base my happiness on what my partner thought of me. I was a broken, desperate person, looking for any small form of validation I could get. I gave and gave. I gave so much, tried to make it work, and I got so little in return. Now all that is past, I am truly starting to appreciate the joy of being single.
Single life is not nearly as bad as some might make it out to be, really. I can say in full confidence that I like being single. I really do. Being single is great—there’s so much to do when you’re single. You can go to the movies single, you can go to a nice restaurant single. I can say in full confidence that this Valentine’s day, I do not need someone in my life to be happy—I am happy being single.
Everything is better when you’re single. Food tastes better when you’re all alone. Air just feels fresher. Going out with friends is a lot easier too, and more fun. Being single is great.
The way I see it, I’ve got enough problems of my own—why should I worry about someone else’s? When you meet someone you really connect with at a New Year’s party two years ago and then ask them out, there is so much pressure to be in a relationship with them. This is college. Why can’t we experience it on our own terms? There are plenty more chances to be had in the future. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Plus, in any case, putting so much effort into showing your affections to your significant other is such a pain in the ass. Do we really need all these corny, ridiculous displays? I really can’t say how many times I’ve looked at myself in the mirror and thought “is this all worth it?”
I am happy. I am very happy that I am single, even if it is Valentine’s day. I am very, very happy, and nothing can change that. Absolutely nothing.
Oh God I Am So Alone
By: Peter Tan
Christ, I can’t take it anymore. I just miss her so much. I miss her so so goddam much, it fucking hurts. I miss everything about her and I do not want to be alone anymore. Being alone is horrible and I hate it.
No matter what I do, all I can do is think about her. I go to class and I’m thinking about her. I go to the dining halls and I can barely eat—I just sit there and think about her. Even when I’m playing basketball with my friends all I can do is remember what it was like when we were together, when things were good between us. Everyone looks so happy this Valentine’s day. Fuck those people—they are the worst.
I miss her smile, I miss holding her in my arms. I miss the way she smells, the sound of her voice. I miss our long, aimless walks through Santa Monica, our conversations about music and her stories about living in Maine. She was so fucking smart too. Being alone is really terrible and I miss her so much.
I have spent so much time with her that at this point I feel like I have no one else I can talk to who would understand me as well as she could. Any time I needed someone to talk to she was there. My friends are all so different now from when we first started going out that I can barely relate to them at all.
I am so sorry Theresa. I am so, so sorry. I should have tried harder. I should have been less selfish, made more time for us, and now I am paying the price. I can see everything so clearly now and it hurts, it hurts so fucking bad: we were right for each other. We truly were. I could have made it work and I am sorry. I do not want to be alone. Never. Not ever.❖