UCLA Reveals School Colors To Be White And Gold
WESTWOOD—Citing the effects of shadows and lighting in various sporting venues over the years, campus officials announced today that UCLA’s school colors are in fact […]
Month: February 2015
Anti-Vaccination Epidemic Cured By Measles
ANAHEIM, CA – Officials from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention announced Saturday that the anti-vaccination epidemic that has afflicted the United States for […]
Suicide Hotline Worker Gears Up For Valentine’s Day
AUSTIN, TEXAS – Julius Camus, a veteran crisis counselor at the national suicide hotline’s call center in Austin, is getting ready for the busiest day […]
POINT: I Don’t Need To Celebrate Valentine’s Day To Be Happy / COUNTERPOINT: Oh God I Am So Alone
Point I Don’t Need To Celebrate Valentine’s Day To Be Happy By: Peter Tan When I was in a relationship not too long ago, I had […]
Classes Canceled Due To National Give-A-Fuck Shortage
LOS ANGELES — Despite the continuation of the scholastic quarter at UCLA and other moderately impressive learning institutions, the Federal Bureau of Education has announced […]