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Month: February 2015

UCLA Reveals School Colors To Be White And Gold

February 28, 2015 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD—Citing the effects of shadows and lighting in various sporting venues over the years, campus officials announced today that UCLA’s school colors are in fact […]

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Anti-Vaccination Epidemic Cured By Measles

February 18, 2015 Christopher Wong 0

ANAHEIM, CA – Officials from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention announced Saturday that the anti-vaccination epidemic that has afflicted the United States for […]

Suicide Hotline Worker Gears Up For Valentine’s Day

February 13, 2015 Kushal Chatterjee 0

AUSTIN, TEXAS – Julius Camus, a veteran crisis counselor at the national suicide hotline’s call center in Austin, is getting ready for the busiest day […]

POINT: I Don’t Need To Celebrate Valentine’s Day To Be Happy / COUNTERPOINT: Oh God I Am So Alone

February 13, 2015 Luke Moran 0

Point I Don’t Need To Celebrate Valentine’s Day To Be Happy By: Peter Tan When I was in a relationship not too long ago, I had […]

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Classes Canceled Due To National Give-A-Fuck Shortage

February 6, 2015 Nathan Guzik 0

LOS ANGELES — Despite the continuation of the scholastic quarter at UCLA and other moderately impressive learning institutions, the Federal Bureau of Education has announced […]

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