Opinion: If I Spill My Trauma To You, Will You Let Me Into Your Grad Program?

I’ve known I wanted to be a neurosurgeon ever since I saw my grandfather get run over by a Zamboni. Right in that moment, as I saw his blood, brains, guts, and toupee spill over the freshly resurfaced ice, I realized that I wanted to be able to help people like Pop-Pop and families like mine.

For my dissertation, I would like to research the impact of cultural alienation on neurological function. Growing up in a mixed-race poor rural ultra-religious family of gay disabled veterans, life was hard. I was relentlessly bullied for my family’s background while in school, and the bullying only got worse when I was diagnosed with Stage V cancer.

I am very proud that I have managed to achieve a 3.12 GPA at UCLA despite overcoming many hardships (including but not limited to rain, stairs, late enrollment passes, and the time that seminar I needed to graduate was only offered at 8am), and I hope that you will consider me for admission into your esteemed graduate program. I look forward to hearing from you.

**Editors’ Note: Lloyd’s application to Harvard was denied after it became apparent that the Harvard Admissions Board is primarily composed of Zamboni enthusiasts.