Opinion: I Heard Your Stomach Growl In Class But I’m A Really Nice Person

Hi there! It’s me, the one who sits next to you in class!

I just wanted to let you know that I did actually hear your stomach growl a few minutes ago. You know, when there was a lull in the lecture, and the hall became pin-drop silent. It’s really unfortunate that that is the moment your stomach decided to unleash a noteworthy growl. But I have to tell you – I didn’t even flinch. I didn’t turn my head toward the beastly sound, or point my eyes in your direction, or even stiffen my frame in shock. I simply kept typing, as if I hadn’t a care in the world.

You know why?

I’m a really nice person! I would never make you feel bad for such a natural human response. In fact, I’ll even let you get an adrenaline rush from the experience, thinking that you slipped through the cracks and made it out scot-free.

But if I’m going to be completely honest, I heard it all. I even noticed that you wrapped your arms tightly around your abdomen, as if that would muffle such a loud and obtrusive noise. To be truthful, I’d be a little embarrassed if I were you! And I’d make sure it never happened again. I always keep a CLIF bar with me; you can get one from the vending machine outside.

But before you start beating yourself up, I just want to let you know that I heard your throat kinda gurgle the other day, and I “didn’t notice” that time either. In summation, this is all just to say that your stomach (and throat) did do a really horrible thing, but you’d never know that I know because I’m a really nice person! Okay, see you Friday.