Nancy Pelosi Had Relaxing Weekend Screaming Into Abyss

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After working around the clock to oppose the Republican party’s legislative agenda, sources close to minority leader Nancy Pelosi say she had a peaceful weekend screaming into an abyss. “The representative had a lovely weekend,” commented Pelosi’s Chief of Staff Danny Weiss, who noticed that his boss had a certain glow to her after spending approximately sixteen hours screaming deeply into a large dark hole in the ground. “This is a tough job,” he continued, “but Representative Pelosi knows how to practice self-care.” At press time, the Democratic party leader was seen making plans to spend Memorial Day screaming into an abyss near her vacation home in Big Sur.

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