LOS ANGELES—Two police officers from the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) said they were pissed off that they had to take the 405 freeway in pursuit of a fugitive this past Friday. “We were chasing him down Sunset after he robbed a bank in Pacific Palisades, then he decided to get on the 405 and I was like, goddamn it, at this time of day?” said Officer Tom Thompson, visibly rattled and exhausted following his excursion on the busy Los Angeles freeway. “That asshole. He could’ve taken Sepulveda or the 1; what an inconsiderate prick.” At press time, the fugitive was unable to be found by the police as he had masterfully hidden from them on the LA Metro.
About Jack Lyons 68 Articles
Area Man. Freelance fraternity president. Aspiring father of two. Probable future Nobel laureate. Occasionally collude with Russia.