In Her Flop Era? This Woman Has No Bones

LOS ANGELES — Lifestyle content creator Emily Nariko announced on Instagram last week that, following the mysterious disappearance of all of her bones, she is officially in her “flop era.” “Beyond the literal flopping, Nariko’s social media engagement rates and reputation are plummeting as we speak,” reported Nariko’s manager and influencer boyfriend, Jake Paul. “The teens on tiktok who once loved her matcha latte recipes and ‘Get Ready With Me’ videos have really turned on her. She may not have bones, but she still has eyes! Reading hateful comments like ‘WORM GIRL! WORM GIRL! WORM GIRL!’ and ‘FLOPPY SLOPPY LADY’ over and over again really takes a toll on Emily. She can barely roll out of bed each morning.” At press time, Nariko refused to provide a comment, because apparently you also need mouth bones to speak.

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