
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Democrats nationwide breathed a collective sigh of relief Wednesday night after Vice President Pence’s infamous natural charm and charisma appeared to have no bearing on the vice presidential debate. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I pulled that off,” said Senator Kamala Harris after the debate, breathing heavily and mopping sweat off her brow. “He’s so inspiring and suave in person — I kept waiting for him to hit me with one of those devastating Pencian one-liners that make men and women swoon. But I guess he was off his game.” At press time, the fly was still too stunned to be reached for comment after being in such close proximity to the vice president.