WESTWOOD — After attempting to Google-search “Game of Thrones Season 8 Finale Free Streaming 1080p,” second-year biology major Serena Tambor discovered her default browser had once again changed to Bing through some mysterious and unknowable process. “It’s like Bill Gates snuck into your closet and replaced all your clothes with off-white polos and khakis from Men’s Warehouse,” said Tambor, considering whether it could have changed when she updated Adobe Flash Player or installed McAfee on a whim. “I get that he can jump over an office chair without any run-up, but that doesn’t mean he should get away with stuff like this. I bet it was Rosa Parks’ birthday today or something like that and I didn’t get to click on the cute little Google custom animation celebrating it, all because of Microsoft’s stillborn malware.” This recent event follows a similar incident at the International Space Station where an American astronaut accidentally installed Bing on a data terminal, forcing the board crew to detach that part of the station and plunge it into the Pacific Ocean with the American astronaut still inside.
