De Neve Grab ‘N Go Loses Michelin Star

WESTWOOD — Lamenting that the dining establishment no longer holds itself to the culinary standards of innovation and excellence exalted by restaurants deemed worthy of the coveted award, the Michelin Guide’s editorial staff announced that they will be stripping UCLA restaurant De Neve Grab ‘N Go of its Michelin star, which it received in 2015. “We seek to reward those restaurants which challenge the norms of fine cuisine and refine what it means to serve excellent food in a convivial atmosphere, and while De Neve Grab ‘N Go originally eschewed these virtues in its quest to provide delicious cafe-style food to students in a rustic atmosphere, it has unfortunately suffered a decline in quality that, quite frankly, repulses our committee,” said Michael Ellis, the international director of the Michelin Guide, particularly singling out the establishment for forgetting their Parisian roots when making croissants and sacrificing quality to cut production costs. “Paul Bocuse would turn in his grave knowing that we have allowed the Michelin brand, and, if I do say so myself, the very essence of fine dining to be irrevocably tarnished by the mockery De Neve Grab ‘N Go has made of what it means to hold a Michelin star. Though we cannot completely recover our reputation, the very least we can do to amend the situation is remove the restaurant’s Michelin Star, effective immediately.” In a further blow to UCLA’s prestige, the UNESCO World Heritage Committee was also considering removing the John Wooden statue’s status as a World Heritage Site as of this morning.

About Jack Lyons 79 Articles
Robust and well-rounded, this full-bodied Jack has zesty notes of citrus and pine complemented by an oaky undertone and hints of caramel.