Daddy LongLegs Divorces Mommy LongLegs

ITSY BITSY WEB, CA — After almost four months of marriage, Daddy LongLegs is filing for divorce, citing Mommy LongLegs’ condescending tone and her attempts to eat him every day. “I know we are supposed to remain mates for life, but it was really bad for my mental health,” explained Daddy LongLegs, trying to bite a staff member of The Westwood Enabler but failing due to his species’ undersized fangs. “She would complain all day about my web patterns, saying that if she wants it to be good she has to do it alone, then I would cry and then she would run at me with a knife and fork. One in each of her eight fucking hands.” Inside sources shared that Mommy LongLegs will receive full custody of Baby LongLegs.

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About Analisa Burns 6 Articles
I am the little guy in the enabler family. I am not worse than my brothers because I am small. I am fun and smart and I can write just as good as the big guys. I can also run really fast.