Oh No! The Girl You Like Is An Active GroupMe Participant
WESTWOOD — Third-year Calvin Brown was disheartened upon joining his class GroupMe and seeing more than ten messages from his crush Emily Lee. “You really […]
WESTWOOD — Third-year Calvin Brown was disheartened upon joining his class GroupMe and seeing more than ten messages from his crush Emily Lee. “You really […]
SILVER SPRINGS, MD — The recent shooting in Uvalde, TX which left 21 dead has prompted the Food and Drug Administration to grant emergency use […]
UNITED KINGDOM — A new report out of Exeter University claims to have proven that Stonehenge is the only epic thing to ever be done […]
OMAHA — Scientists discovered Thursday that the universe was created 8,000 years ago. “Feel old yet? God, that’s such a long time,” said chief astrophysicist […]
MONTREAL — Producers behind the television show “How It’s Made” recently announced that the upcoming season will feature an episode about babies. “The process begins […]
NEW YORK — The world’s leading climate scientists gathered Tuesday to announce the culmination of their prank, known formally as the “Climate Crisis.” “Honestly we […]
GOOGLE DRIVE — Digital climate scientists announced Friday that the ecosystem of anonymous life forms that populate the Google Docs microbiome is being threatened by […]
LOS ANGELES — Soon after receiving record-high ratings for its second season, Euphoria show-runner Sam Levinson announced a prequel show set in preschool. “We’re really […]
WESTWOOD — UCLA’s dating app scene made an historic push toward body positivity Tuesday, when 6’2 third-year Brant Jacobs removed his height from his Tinder […]
LOS ANGELES — Second-year Communications major Aiden Malone clarified today that his use of the “raise hand” function on zoom was just his stretching. “If […]
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