Anonymous Invasive Carp Destroys Google Docs Ecosystem

GOOGLE DRIVE — Digital climate scientists announced Friday that the ecosystem of anonymous life forms that populate the Google Docs microbiome is being threatened by the invasive Anonymous Carp. “The Anonymous Carp is native to Microsoft Word; it has no place in Google Suite,” said lead researcher Anonymous Nyan Cat, who is generally agreed upon as the most annoying animal in the Anonymous kingdom. “The Anonymous Carp has editing privileges and no natural predators. It’s stealing precious comments from the native Anonymous animals at an astonishing rate.” In response to the invasive threat, Google is offering 1MB of extra storage to any users who present them with an Anonymous Carp head on a stick.

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Jade is an enigma, the shadow at the edge of your vision, the personification of night, and a third-year English major. She enjoys creeping into your nightmares and creative writing.