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Articles by Peter Carman

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Golden Key Honor Society Deadline Approaching

May 21, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD–Sources have confirmed that the deadline for the Golden Key Honor Society, who warns you of its upcoming deadline every couple of weeks, is rapidly […]

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Kid Really Good At Chess For Some Reason

May 21, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD – Local 12-year-old Eric Donovan is really good at chess for some reason, sources have reported. “I’ve seen him play with other kids and […]

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Cute! These Founding Fathers Tried To Create A Nation With No Demagoguery

May 21, 2017 Peter Carman 0

Are you ready for the most heartwarming story you’ve read all week? A group of Founding Fathers tried to create their very own nation, completely […]

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Conversation Going Well Until Jesus Brought Up

May 21, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD–A recent conversation between local man and woman James McCarthy and Abigail Hill was going well until Jesus was brought up. “It started out totally […]

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Teen Thinks This Nietzsche Guy Is Pretty Cool

May 21, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD – Local teenager Sam Herman thinks this Nietzsche guy is pretty cool. “All that stuff about slave morality is pretty interesting,” said Sam, an […]

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“Live, Laugh, Love” Poster On Girl’s Wall Tells You All You Need To Know

May 21, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD–Sources have reported that the “Live, Laugh, Love” poster hanging on the wall of local 20-year-old Lindsey Matthews tells you pretty much all you need […]

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Screaming Customer Inspires Cashier to Be Better

April 30, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD–Sources confirm that an altercation with an infuriated customer inspired local retail worker Rachel Jefferson to be better. “It was an overwhelming personal experience, and […]

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Local Weirdo’s Favorite Muppet Isn’t Beaker

April 30, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD–Sources have recently confirmed that the favorite Muppet of Ian O’Neill, a local weirdo, isn’t Beaker. “Beaker’s alright, but no way is he my favorite,” […]

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Study: Average Person Takes At Least Three Months To Get Over Failed Relationship, Debbie, You Bitch

April 30, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD–A new study conducted at UCLA has found that the average person takes at least three months to get over a failed relationship, Debbie, you […]

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Local Man Mediocre Artist Despite Unhappy Childhood

April 30, 2017 Peter Carman 0

WESTWOOD–Despite having an unhappy childhood, local man Stephen Hopkins, 34, is still a mediocre artist. “My parents and I moved around a lot, never really […]

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