Website With Viruses Goes On Juice Cleanse
ONLINE—This Thursday the online forum AboutYourDog announced it was going on a juice cleanse. “I’ve just been feeling majorly bloated, and these viruses – yuck!” […]
Articles by Jessica Waite
High School Classmate Discovers Moroccan Food
LOS GATOS, CA—High school classmate Julie Burr discovered Moroccan food earlier this week, sources confirm. “At first I was like wow, this kind of has […]
4 Guys Who Are Way Better Than Your Current Fiance
Oh my gosh! Looking for some eye candy? Boy, are we ready for you! Here’s a list of four guys who are way better than […]
Study: Water Best Served Lukewarm
NEW YORK – A recent analytical study performed by New York University has revealed that water is best served at the body temperature of your […]
POINT: We Need Smaller Class Sizes / COUNTERPOINT: I LIKE YELLING
Point Smaller Class Sizes Will Promote Better Learning By: Tamara Chang, 4th year English and Chemistry double major At UCLA, classes are just too large. […]
UCLA Student Spends Exciting Friday Night Cleaning Apartment
WESTWOOD–Claiming she had turned down several invitations to do it, fourth year Asian Humanities major Jessie Harlan spent her Friday night cleaning her apartment. “It’s […]
Study Shows Hating Justin Bieber Key To Looking Tough To Other Twelve-Year-Olds
MINNEAPOLIS—A recent study conducted by the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities shows that hating Justin Bieber is vital to looking cool to the other twelve-year-olds. […]
Op-Ed: That Bucket Hat Looks Really Amazing On You
That bucket hat looks really amazing on you. And the little string you use to fasten it around your neck—what is that called, the neck […]
Student Finds Roommate’s Bong Or Dildo, Not Sure Which
WESTWOOD — Stating he felt “extreme terror” and “penetrating feelings of fear,” third year sociology major Jason Schwartz claims to have found a hollow glass […]
Candlelight Vigil Held To Commemerate Lack Of Poon
WESTWOOD – Students at UCLA prepare to weep in solidarity at the overwhelming lack of poon. This weekend a vigil will be held on campus […]