Academy Accidentally Leaks Next Year’s “In Memoriam” Segment

LOS ANGELES — Members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are attempting damage control following reports that next year’s Oscars “In Memoriam” segment has been leaked to the internet. “I’m not usually one for spoilers, but this was just too juicy to ignore,” said Marty Martins, professional movie blogger and freelance obituary writer. “I mean, there are some real A-listers in there. I don’t want to give too much away, but let’s just say you shouldn’t be expecting an Indiana Jones 5 anytime soon.” As of press time it had been confirmed that Betty White would, once again, not be making an appearance.