A Song Of Ice And Fire Spoils Game Of Thrones

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Already-published novels are set to be burnt in friendly book burnings featuring GoT cosplay.
Already-published novels are set to be burnt in friendly book burnings featuring GoT cosplay.

HOLLYWOOD – Epic fantasy scholars have recently discovered that the best-selling book series A Song of Ice and Fire contains major spoilers for the hit HBO series “Game of Thrones.” Upon reading the book series as part of a seminar designed for professors, some “Game of Thrones” fans among the professors noticed the series contained similar plot and characters. After the most recent episode, “The Mountain and the Viper,” was aired, the scholars scrambled together for an emergency meeting.

“We noticed that reading the books had given us information about the episode we otherwise would not have had,” said Professor McClaren, assistant director of the Southern California Epic Seminar Series. “With further investigations, we were able to conclude that the book series contains highly likely plot developments.”

George R. R. Martin, writer of the book series, has acknowledged the allegations that he is spoiling “Game of Thrones.” Although he has not come forward with a press statement, his agent has announced he is prepared to defend himself in a lawsuit. Martin’s agent claims his ideas are unique and his own, and because they were written before the TV series, anything is fair game. Martin’s agent then accused the screenwriters of stealing from Martin’s novels.

“It’s ridiculous of him to assume screenwriters are stealing from him. Adapting the written word for television? That’s unheard of,” McClaren said.

A preview of what future novels will look like.
A preview of what future novels will look like.

With another novel planned in the series, the “Game of Thrones” staff has taken action against Martin’s publishers. Any remaining novels in the series will have any potential spoilers blacked out by hand with permanent marker, and uncensored novels cannot be sold in countries where “Game of Thrones” is aired.

“We just can’t let this happen,” concluded McClaren. “As scholars, as humans, and as fans, we have a duty to protect the surprise one feels when watching a new episode. What will happen to Joffrey? Will Sansa ever see Arya again? If Martin can even remotely point us in the right direction, he’s a monster who needs to be stopped.” ❖