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Month: June 2014

‘Gaping Death Pit’ Swallows Dozens Of Graduating Seniors

June 16, 2014 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD—Following reports of several missing graduates, a search and rescue operation carried out by the Los Angeles Fire Department this morning revealed a total of […]

Kenyan Olympian Shatters Undie Run Record

June 12, 2014 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD—In what commentators are describing as a “fantastic return to form”, former Olympic gold medalist Asbel Kiprop stunned the crowd tonight with a record-breaking performance […]

Procrastinating Sophomore Estimates He’s Only Got About An Hour Left To Play 2048

June 11, 2014 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD—Saying “no worries, I got this,” second year Michael Hess reportedly reckons that he only has about an hour left to kill before he “really […]

A Song Of Ice And Fire Spoils Game Of Thrones

June 4, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

HOLLYWOOD – Epic fantasy scholars have recently discovered that the best-selling book series A Song of Ice and Fire contains major spoilers for the hit […]

Outmoded History Professor Reconnects With Students Via Vine-Based Lectures

June 2, 2014 Christopher Wong 0

WESTWOOD, CA — Struggling to engage his students in yet another lecture, History professor Vincent Hall implemented a new teaching method early this quarter incorporating […]

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