Area Highway Shocked To Find Out It Adopted
CUMBERLAND, MD—In a frantic meltdown this past Wednesday, Interstate 68—which runs through western Maryland—expressed utter disbelief when it found out it was, in fact, adopted […]
Month: March 2016
First-Year Declines Invitation That Would Have Been Best Night Of Life
WESTWOOD, DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES, LECHUZA BEACH—In a move that she would regret until her dying breath, first-year student Amy Milligan turned down an offer to “hang […]
Rhode Island Re-Classified As Unit Of Measurement
PROVIDENCE, RI—In a conference last Friday, the State Metrics Institute of America (SMIA) announced that Rhode Island would lose its statehood and be re-classified as […]
Bus Driver Oddly Peppy Today
LOS ANGELES—Noting his bright smile, sing-songy voice and otherwise peppy demeanor, passengers on the metro 720 bus remarked that their driver was weirdly friendly today. […]