BREAKING: Chip Kelly to Retire After One Game Winning Streak
WESTWOOD — After a grueling 46 day-long career, UCLA Head Football Coach Chip Kelly has announced his retirement. “Hey, me and the boys had a […]
sports
Former UCLA Econ Major Forced To Settle For Entry-Level Job With Poor Health Benefits
PHOENIX, AZ — The Enabler recently did a profile on former UCLA economics student Joshua Rosen, who had decided to drop out of UCLA. Unfortunately, […]
Promising Economics Student Sadly Drops Out of UCLA
WESTWOOD — On Wednesday, the UCLA community was saddened when prominent economics student Joshua Rosen decided to take leave from the university. “We wish Mr. […]
Something Happened In Sports
HOUSTON, TX — On Feb. 5, something big happened at a sporting event somewhere involving some athletes and a ball. “Yeah, I just can’t believe […]
PETA Denounces Cruel Treatment Of Bruin Bear
WESTWOOD — Following UCLA administration’s decision to put a large protective box around the Bruin Bear statue in Bruin Plaza for “Rivalry Week,” People for […]
Students Take Break From Battling On-Campus Hate To Hate Crosstown Rivals
LOS ANGELES – Lobbing disparaging remarks at the Trojan student body during the UCLA-USC football game Saturday, students at the University of California, Los Angeles […]
Powell To Be Converted Into Temple For John Wooden
WESTWOOD —The UCLA Department of Administration held a joint ad-hoc meeting last Tuesday with the Center for the Study of Religion (CSR) to discuss plans […]
UCLA Reveals School Colors To Be White And Gold
WESTWOOD—Citing the effects of shadows and lighting in various sporting venues over the years, campus officials announced today that UCLA’s school colors are in fact […]