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Articles by Sabrina Ellis

Violence Apparently Not Allowed At UCLA

February 13, 2025 Sabrina Ellis 0

University Shuts Down Jewish Sukkot To Protect Jewish Students

October 23, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — This Monday evening, UCLA Administration once again reinforced their commitment to protecting Jewish community on campus by tearing down the sukkah that was […]

UCLA Provides Police Violence As Safer Alternative To Counter-Protestor Violence

May 5, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — After UCLA student activists were attacked by counter-protestors Tuesday night, university administration immediately handled it 24 hours later by calling cops to brutalize […]

UCLA Admin Release Bruin-Bear Spray

May 3, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

A Win For Diversity! This White Latina Thinks She Is A POC Because Her Parents Can Make Empanadas

March 8, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — Third-year white Latinx student Layla Rodriguez barged into a conversation about racism to share her experience growing up as a person of color […]

I Lived It: Guy I Told My Friends About Has Only One Instagram Post From 2018

February 27, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

It seemed too good to be true. And I was right. After two dates, the guy from that meet-cute dream encounter gave me his Instagram […]

Vegan’s ‘Ethical Diet’ Sourced Exclusively Through Child Labor

January 31, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — Local vegan Polly Mitchell shared her advice Tuesday on how to live a more ethical lifestyle through her sustainable snacks produced by children […]

“It’s Just Seasonal Depression,” Says Student During Spring Quarter

May 24, 2023 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Primrose Miller claimed Monday that their depression is just seasonal, despite it being week eight of spring quarter. “I’m usually totally fine. […]

Tucker Carlson Applies For Job At Daily Bruin

May 4, 2023 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — Emails leaked this morning revealed that Tucker Carlson has been making pleas for a permanent position at the Daily Bruin. “The woke mob […]

Three Signs You Have Developed A Parasocial Relationship With Gene Block

February 6, 2023 Sabrina Ellis 0

Are you feeling those pesky little butterflies fluttering in your tummy when you think about how close you are to Gene Block again after break? […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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