“It’s Just Seasonal Depression,” Says Student During Spring Quarter

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Primrose Miller claimed Monday that their depression is just seasonal, despite it being week eight of spring quarter. “I’m usually totally fine. It’s just that an extreme temperature drop like this one (79.8º to 79.1ºF) would affect anyone, y’know?” said the psychology major, who used all eight of their annually-allotted CAPS sessions in week zero last fall. “I was only able to schedule a therapy session for July, but that works out great! Instagram posts of people going to the beach and having cute picnics together always trigger my seasonal depression.” At press time, Miller was complaining that the sun was setting too soon after waking up at 5 p.m.