Discussion Section Evolves Into Orgy
WESTWOOD – Third-year John Smith was aroused and afraid when his HIST 13B discussion devolved into an orgy. “I didn’t want to lose participation points, […]
Articles by Georgia McNeill
Old Guy Can Show You A Thing Or Two
YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — After you complained about the difficulties in your life, your neighbor and local old guy Rutherford McFiddlesticks explained that he may […]
Downsizing Parents Sell Car, Shoot Dog While You’re Gone
BAKERSFIELD — During your first phone call in weeks, parents Bob and Susan revealed today that they sold your car and shot your dog while […]
Food Truck Fortune Cookie Lists Exact Time, Location of Death
WESTWOOD — First-year engineering major Bob Virgyn was surprised last Thursday night after his fortune cookie revealed the exact time and location of his death. […]
Opinion: USC Students Are Dumb Poopyheads
People make many arguments as to why UCLA is better than USC, or vice versa. Some people say UCLA has a higher academic ranking. Others […]
USC Begins Rivalry Week By Halving TA Wages
LOS ANGELES — USC President Carol Folt announced earlier today that in honor of rivalry week, teaching assistants at USC would have their wages cut […]