You Win Some, You Lose Some: The Dog That Was Elected Mayor Of A Small Town Was Just Pancaked By A Cement Mixer

Mayor McFetch (2018-2021)

HUCKLEBERRY GROVE, KY Amid the drama of last year’s election, the people of Huckleberry Grove made headlines across the nation when they elected a dog as mayor of their small town. Mayor McFetch, a three year-old border collie with a penchant for chasing squirrels, quickly became the subject of national attention, causing a boom in business and a surge of local pride within the tiny Kentucky hamlet.

However, the good times came to a screeching halt this morning, when Mayor McFetch chased a chipmunk into oncoming traffic and was pancaked by a cement mixer.

“Well, you can’t win ‘em all,” said local resident Frank Long. “We had a good thing going for a while. But what can you do about the mayor being flattened like a tortilla by twenty tons of steel hurtling down the interstate? Better luck next time I guess.”

“Sometimes that’s just how it is,” shrugged business owner Candace Knutz. “Sh*t happens, you know?”

“Death is inevitable, it is truth,” said Molly Weathers, 8. “Life’s purpose is finality. All must submit to the void.”

As of press time, a town council member had introduced an addendum to the next year’s budget to purchase a supply of leashes, despite a rival proposal to just elect a cat instead.

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About Dylan Wood 33 Articles
Dylan Wood is an American actor and filmmaker. He is known for his comedic and dramatic roles in such films as Splash (1984), Big (1988), Turner & Hooch (1989), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), Forrest Gump(1994), Apollo 13 (1995), You've Got Mail (1998), Cast Away (2000), Captain Phillips(2013), Saving Mr. Banks (2013), Sully (2016), and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019). He has also starred in the Robert Langdon films, and he voices Sheriff Woody in the Toy Story film series. He is one of the most popular and recognizable film stars worldwide, and he is widely regarded as an American cultural icon.