UCLA Mascot Changed From Bruin To Smokey The Bear

WESTWOOD – In light of the Skirball Fire threatening the UCLA campus, Smokey the Bear has been declared the school’s mascot. “Only you can prevent forest fires,” said Chancellor Gene D. Block wistfully, covering his mouth and shielding his eyes. “At this time Smokey represents our school perfectly,” stated Block, “and here at UCLA, we all strive to uphold such values, and what it means to be a True Bruin, or should I say True Smokey the Bear.” At press time, the severed head of former mascot Joe Bruin was seen rolling down Bruinwalk, or as it has been renamed, Smokeywalk.