Tom Brady Does Football Good

TAMPA, FL — After emerging victorious in this year’s Super Bowl, it has become apparent to the sports world that Tom Brady does football really good. “I’m not afraid to say it, and I may catch some flack, but I think Tom Brady did football really good on Sunday and threw the ball good too,” said Bob Bicker, $40 million analyst for ESPN SportsCenter, who also dissected the post-game statistics to explain that the points scored by Brady’s team were more than the points scored by the other team, which turned out to be vital for Brady’s team winning the game. “Brady is the ‘Greatest of All Time;’ however, tomorrow we’ll be discussing if he’s also the ‘Best Throughout History’ or if he’s the ‘Goodest in Every Era.’” Bicker resumed his next segment with a 20-person roundtable discussion about how last night’s Lakers game showed LeBron James does the basketball good too because he ran on the court and took the orange ball and put it in the round hole really great and amazing and tall.

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Arman Abrishamchian is the human equivalent of "if the sun is so hot, why is space cold?" That was rhetorical, nerd. I prefer ignorance.