Students Huddled In Night Powell Celebrate 3rd Consecutive Night Of Extended Laptop Battery Life



WESTWOOD—Rejoicing in what surely must have been an act of the Almighty Lord, students in Night Powell praised his Holy Name tonight as, for the third consecutive night, they saw their laptop batteries continue to function well beyond the 7% warning. Batteries at such low levels are often expected to last for 15 minutes or less.

“It’s a Night Powell miracle!” said fourth year Shannon Peters, who by 11:15 had spent twenty minutes trying to submit a paper via Turnitin when the warning box appeared before her. “Though the dark shadow of finals may, for many of us, still be looming, by the light of our laptops may we revel in His grace.”

According to reports, the first to notice the miracle was second year Paul Timoti, shortly after midnight Wednesday morning. Timoti professes to have only had enough juice in his laptop for one hour of studying.

“What was supposed to last one hour instead lasted the whole night,” said the Biology major, insisting that he was nothing special, and that many less-fortunate scholars, facing much more daunting exams the following day were subject to the same fate. “Surely no mortal being would be capable of manufacturing a battery so pure, I thought. Surely… this must be a sign from God.”

Soon others began to tell similar stories and by this third, miraculous night students across the chilly reading room took a brief break from studying to join in a silent prayer.

It is unclear whether the miracle is a reward for the students’ faithfulness throughout the final weeks of the quarter or a simple act of generosity from the Almighty. Whatever the case, student leaders have reportedly vowed to celebrate the anniversary of this miracle for many years to come.

About Luke Moran 70 Articles
Dank, fam