CYBERSPACE — As you attempted to begin your Monday morning midterm, the anti-cheating application Respondus LockDown Browser™ released a statement suggesting that you would look much prettier if you smiled more. “Come on, how about a smile, baby?” read a pop-up chat window as Respondus’ state-of-the-art facial recognition software spent over 15 minutes of exam time verifying that your face was indeed your face. “I bet computer applications would be way more into you if you didn’t look so bitchy all the time. How’s a browser supposed to invade your privacy without a little sugar?” At press time, the custom browser could be overheard browser-splaining a license software agreement that you had signed countless times before.
