Op-Ed: Everyone Is Getting COVID Without Me And I Have Major FOMO

How would you feel if every day you checked the news and saw that hundreds of thousands of people were going to a party, and you weren’t even invited? That’s how I feel right now in the age of COVID-19. Infection is all over town: hospitals are filling up by the hundreds, max occupancies are being reached left and right. It seems like people are dying to get in! I guess I’m the only one who is out of such luck.

At first I tried to play it safe. I listened to the media that informed me that the wise thing to do would be to wear a mask and stay at home. However, almost immediately, I could see that I was the only chump who was abiding by this rule. My friends and family continued to have get-togethers, and soon thereafter they received their invitation to the real party. In the beginning I felt like I was missing out on social interaction. Now there’s something else I’m worried about. What if this coronavirus is everything I could have ever wanted?

During these “strange and uncertain” times, the only thing that is uncertain to me is how much these lucky people are living it up without me. What is this exclusive club, and why can’t I get in? I see them all posting on social media, curling up in bed, getting flooded with likes from fellow COVID-ers or COVID-sympathizers. These people are probably having a ball right now and are playing me like a fiddle. Well I say no longer.

I now understand why some people are begging that everyone “wears a mask.” They’re gatekeeping this disease from nobodies like me who aren’t cool enough to join the club. They want to keep all the COVID for themselves, and frankly, I’m sick of it.

With complete vaccine distribution on the horizon, it appears that my window to getting invited to the exclusive party is shutting. So far, this COVID has been relegated to the lucky 10%, but I say no longer. I have major FOMO, and I think there’s only one cure.