Number of Acapella Groups Reaches Triple Digits

WESTWOOD — Local UCLA officials reported today that the number of campus acapella groups has reached triple digits, and shows no sign of slowing down. “UCLA has always been proud of its diversity both in extracurricular affairs and the student body, but unless we do something soon acapella is going to overrun our facilities,” said Claire Huxby, spokesperson for UCLA Student Organizations, Leadership & Engagement (SOLE). “We’re running out of public space. Every open area has been filled by groups of eight to ten semi-attractive, mostly white people singing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ covers.” At press time, sources reported that the number of groups is nearing quadruple digits and the city of Los Angeles is considering declaring a state of emergency.

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RIP Griffin Stout (1996-2023) Failed Comedy Writer and Pet Owner. RIP Bark Ruffalo (2007-2007)