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Articles by Griffin Stout

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About Griffin Stout
RIP Griffin Stout (1996-2023) Failed Comedy Writer and Pet Owner. RIP Bark Ruffalo (2007-2007)

Student Munches Lunch at Bunche

December 9, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — Imprudent third year theater student Daniel Dent munches crunchy lunch inside of Bunche. “I know it’s ambitious, and a bit suspicious, but my […]

Number of Acapella Groups Reaches Triple Digits

November 21, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — Local UCLA officials reported today that the number of campus acapella groups has reached triple digits, and shows no sign of slowing down. […]

Bruin Plate Introduces Bottomless Mimosas

November 20, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — The UCLA Housing department has recently announced that Bruin Plate, UCLA’s newest and largest dining hall, will begin serving bottomless mimosas beginning in […]

New Silver Lake Restaurant Serves “Conceptual” Meals

May 6, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

SILVER LAKE — Following a year of overwhelming anticipation within the community, “Food for Thought,” a restaurant that only serves “conceptual” meals, has opened this week. […]

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Body Pillow Found In Basement Of Shapiro Residence

April 29, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

LOS ANGELES — Earlier this week a body pillow, otherwise known as a “dakimakura,” depicting U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was found in the basement of the […]

Study: Greek Yogurt Not Good Substitute For Lube

April 25, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

LOS ANGELES — Researchers at the Bixby Center of Population and Reproductive Health have found in a recent study that Greek yogurt is not a […]

Point: Wash Your Dishes / Counterpoint: I’m Letting Them Soak

April 23, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

Point: Wash Your Dishes By Alex Haru, Kellen Loke, Drew Casebier We’ve called this roommate meeting to discuss the issue of the dishes that have […]

Carl’s Jr. Grounded by Carl’s Sr.

April 23, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

NASHVILLE — Carl’s Junior announced today that it will be closing its doors for two weeks after being grounded by Carl’s Senior. “We at Carl’s […]

Stray Cat Wins Heart of Community, Stray Human Does Not

April 2, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — A stray cat discovered on Landfair Avenue has won over the community with its scrappy feline charms, while at the same time local […]

Target Pushes Further Into Ralphs’ Territory, War Imminent

March 11, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — With the annexation of the shared stairwell, Target has pushed further into Ralphs’ territory, which experts believe will surely result in a formal […]

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