My Sons, Ranked

By , in First Pass Lists on .

1. Lonzo
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Lonzo’s the biggest baller out there. He’s inherited my amazing basketball skills, and is going to win MVP every year he’s in the NBA. A Wilt Chamberlain-Oscar Robertson love child would have no chance against him.

2. (tie) LaMelo
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My other favorite son is only 15 and he’s already a Big Baller. Michael Jordan in his prime couldn’t beat him or even dribble a ball against him.

3. LiAngelo
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He exists.